Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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