Yo dont text me then not text me
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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