he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
