Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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