You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He felt like a one man threesome
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
