fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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