if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You're like the curious george of whores
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
