Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
