And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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