You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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