Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
