People in love make me want to vomit
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
