please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
