what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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