is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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