can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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