Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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