I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
