She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just google imaged poop.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
