what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
