So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
