i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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