NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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