Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
