If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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