Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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