you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
