I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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