; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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