ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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