did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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