This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
