In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
