last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
