the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
