Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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