yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
