It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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