i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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