you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
