True but thats because hes a fetus.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
