Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
