If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize