Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She bit a glass in half.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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