i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
