I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize