You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
