One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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