Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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