i need an iv and a liver transplant
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
How does one acquire holy water?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
