She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
