its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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