Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
wanna go halves on a baby?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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