Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize