The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
