So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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