Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
