Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
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