How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
