you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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