Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
