My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Floor bacon is actually really good
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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