So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you didnt know i had herpes?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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